Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The art of apologizing

While Japan is amazing in several forms of art, one art form that they probably beat everyone at is the art of apologizing. I've noticed since I've come here, that the Japanese apologize a ton. I've even heard it said several times in different ways in the exact same sentence recently. Here is a lesson in the Japanese art of apologizing.

First, there are several ways to say "sorry". Here are the most used forms:
1. Sumimasen--This is probably the most used form of apology. It's usually translated as "excuse me", but it's meaning goes beyond that. When you bump into someone, you say "sumimasen". When you're late, you say "sumimasen". When you call the waiter over to your table, you say "sumimasen". When someone (usually someone you don't know very well) lets you borrow their pen, you say "sumimasen". So, "sumimasen" has a few special uses...I'll go into that in a bit.

2. Gomen(nasai)--When you're learning Japanese for the first time, this is the word you learn form I'm sorry. It can often be used interchangeably with sumimasen for example when you bump into someone, but sumimasen is still used more often, I think. "Gomen ne" is used in informal cases (ie with friends) in which you can't make it to a date or you hurt someone's feelings. "Gomennasai" is more formal and I feel like it's stronger than sumimasen since it's often used in more serious situations (ie apologizing for a mistake/fault).

3. Moushiwake nai--A more formal way to apologize. It's often used by the train staff when they apologize for running late: "O-isogashii tokoro moushiwake arimasen" (roughly: We apologize for inconveniencing you on your busy schedule). This phrase also has different forms depending on the level of formality demanded by the situation. From informal to formal: moushiwake nai, moushiwake nai desu, moushiwake arimasen, moushiwake gozaimasen.

Second of all, "I'm sorry"--especially in the form of sumimasen--is not only used for apologizing, but to say thank you as well. For example, when you borrow something from someone you don't know well, you usually say "sumimasen" NOT "arigatou gozaimasu". In a way, sumimasen is understood as a way to say thank you, but it is also understood as a humble "oh my gosh thank you so much you really didn't have to go out of your way just to lend me this pen but you did so I am ever so grateful and am in your debt"...Well, that's what I get from the use of the word in that context. Maybe I'm just overthinking things...

Third of all, everyone everwhere is always apologizing. When you're waiting in line and you finally get to the counter, the cashier will say "taihen omatase shimashita", which literally means "you've waited quite a while" but it's really saying "I deeply apologize for making you wait so long". And I'm usually thinking "Um, it really wasn't that long, don't worry about it", even though I know that it's just a set phrase that's always used no matter how you've waited. But still, being constantly apologized to is kind of strange. I feel like saying "Hey, it's no big deal, you don't have to apologize" but in a way, it's often a way to talk more than anything else. The fact that apologizing is so ingrained in the Japanese language that it's used constantly on a daily basis as a greeting almost shows just how well Japan has mastered the art of apologizing. In my opinion anyway.

For making you read all this and keeping you from other things while you're on such a busy schedule, moushiwake arimasen. For spouting all this opinionated information, sumimasen. Please excuse me, I have rudely bothered you (Ojama shimashita, shitsurei shimasu).

4 comments:

  1. I enjoy how you applied all of this new knowledge into that last paragraph. You're a good teacher.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think one could easily fall in love with a people who is so humble as to hold true worth on one's time, even if it has become a standard response, it is however, a noble and kind thought.sumimasen for taking the time and trouble to explain this wonderful concept to us!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow!I am so thankful for the opportunity to learn this. Now, i want you to keep teaching me more even though I have to say sumimasen. Oh, grief. Love you, sumimasen... again

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very useful! Duomo Arigato gozaimasu

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.